Inner healing is never a linear process. People who go through our training and other healing spaces often have different experiences to share regarding their healing path. Nonetheless, several people have reported similar underlying tendencies in this process that may be useful for you to know or even place your inner healing story in a way that you can tell it.
1. Notice the burden that’s holding you back
Some people know clearly what is holding them down. This kind of people can say the stories very clearly. Others, however, have no idea that certain circumstances are costing them their peace of mind. Such people have perfected a fake art of nonchalance to deal with the situations that happened to them. They would act cool and collected, and even appear successful. Yet, somewhere, something is not complete for them. The first step is to notice the situation. Meditation opens a door for a person to begin noticing the stories and misconceptions that have held them back. As a result, you begin to see the truth of these stories and sometimes you could cry, or have a dip in your emotion. All these are invitations for you to observe and notice what has weighed you down from healing all this while.
2. Re-assess the situation: Uncover the untruths to your inner healing
A new form of noticing that comes from meditation is that which separates the issue from other people or things. Put in another way, you begin to see the situation as the actual actions that happened without any of our assessments and stories. In this new perspective, there is less to no blame, or justification. Remember, in meditation, a basic principle is to simply observe and focus on your meditation object at the center. When this happens, you may begin to assess the situation, journal about it, paint or take walks. Whatever your channel of assessment, all are steps to begin re-evaluating the situation. Uncover the lies and stories you made about what happened and at some point, you may actually see them or may feel obliged to talk to someone about it.
3. Make a decision: Change your mind
This is a very important part of inner healing. You realize that the prison you have lived in all this while was your making. In other words, something happened, you made it mean something and you decided to be and act a particular way.
As I write this,
I remember, in grade four, am barely eight years old and I am seated in class, making noise with two other boys, oblivious that the staff-room is adjacent to our class. We are so loud that the teacher walks in brandishing a huge rod, determination to teach the class a lesson written all over her face. We could not hide, we came forward to get a beating. Making a line, she is mad yet still inspirational as teachers could be sometimes. So, she holds the first boy by the shorts, and gives him a chilling seven strokes, all this time, calling him a prophetic name.
“Doctor! Making noise in class!”
I am third in line and by this time, I do not care about the beating. “What will this “prophet” standing in front of me say” is all I can think of. In quick transitions, out goes the doctor, in comes the engineer and before long, I am next to get my share of the rod. Then she looks at me, top of my head to bottom of my feet, grabs me by my short and says with some conclusive contempt;
“And you! You will just become a thief!”
And the class burst out laughing. I feel awkward, my ears are burning with humiliation and I am looking down; and at that time, I decide,
“I will show you!.”
Long story short, my grades shot up gradually fast, and all the way to university, I lived my life, showing my teacher that I am not a thief. All the while, traumatized and harboring a not good enough attitude and walking through life as if people saw the thief. One decision I made, changed everything for me. In my inner healing, that had me share this story, as an adult, was my new decision to change my mind and look at the situation as my making and one that I can transform. You too can change your mind!
4. Letting go and letting be
When we change our minds, we DECIDE to Let go, to forgive where we need to, and let things be where we cannot change anything. We could say this is the most important part of the healing journey, but again, our intention is not to categorize and segment anything here. As we said earlier, there is no linearity in how the healing occurs. We simply come out everyday noticing where we are held captives, reevaluating the situations, taking responsibility for them, and deciding firmly to let go and let be where necessary.
5. Create a new path to inner healing
While inner healing occurs the instant you change your mind, the manifestation of it lies in your daily behavior change to who you are becoming. In other words, you move from a situation that held you down. You move from listening to yourself as small, not good enough, lost, beaten and whatever it is you hold, to a new version of who you are. You could create yourself as someone who forgives, or someone who is not put down by anything. The possibilities are endless; and it all starts with creating a new path. Such a path could look like changing some actions that are not helpful. For example I quit drinking because it no longer defined who I am. Some people begin looking at their life from a new perspective, adopting new practices. One of our peace agents decided to make meditation her daily practice to a clear mind, because she noticed that she needed willpower and clarity of mind that meditation had afforded her before.
Before you go, are you healing from a past situation? What new path are you creating for yourself and your life?
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